"You're back."

My skin was tingling and my heart was singing, climbing out of the cool lake with my family. After a long overnighter at work, Andrew had come home empty, wanting more than anything to lie on the couch and wake up tomorrow. Knowing the lake would clear his mind, Maddy was the one to ask her Dad to join us....yes, like most Dads...he's wrapped around his little girl's finger. We just swam to the four-poster dock, our 'minimum' swim. In that short distance, Maddy had already scrambled on and off her paddle board about four times, played tag, raced to the buoys, chased birds...as six year olds do. The sound of a little girl giggling is the best way to erase the stress of the day.

Not having seen each other for a few days, I noticed Andrew staring at me in the kitchen as I danced around making dinner and laughing with Maddy. A slow smile spread across his face. "You're back." I knew what he meant. I just realized it myself. I wasn't moving around the kitchen like an old lady anymore. The pit in my stomach was gone, and I was genuinely laughing out loud, instead of trying to look happy for Maddy's sake. I just smiled back.

It's amazing what some sleep and some mobility can do for one's mood. Here's the part where I share way too much information. I got a rash about 10 days ago. This was a sneaky rash that looked totally innocuous in the cool morning air, then ramped up throughout the day as the temperature rose, and by nighttime it was a raging mess of raised hives. Initially I thought some Benadryl would do the trick. My doctor then gave me a steroid cream, thinking I had 'lake itch'. A week later, down in Penticton watching Ironman, my dear friend and nurse marched me into a drop-in clinic where I was prescribed Prednisone. I take this high-powered drug with respect, and for the first time in a week have slept like a baby. Back to normal sleep.....CHECK!

I know darn well that it is pitiful to mope about a tiny little injury while people are struggling with real physical challenges, illness, and massive injury. As I've mentioned before, I'm embarrassed about my mood, as my rational brain scoffs this small physical trial. At this point, I haven't got the tool set to alter my mood when my activity level is limited. Over the years, movement and physical effort have become integral to my way in the world. I'm getting the picture that my tool set needs expanding, as these may not always be available to me. As I dance around the kitchen, jump up and down cheering at Ironman, mobility is back....CHECK!

Watching Ironman this year was moving. It always is, and I've never spectated without my heart in my throat as the start canon explodes, jumping for joy as the riders race out of town, and tears of admiration as they make their way back to the finish line. As I watched more than 2000 people, of all different sizes, ages and backgrounds, undertake this massive task, I just felt awe and respect for each of them. I watched most people finish ecstatic with their performance and completion of the event. I spoke with a few people after the race, however, who were devastated with their performance being off their goal times. I've been there, and have felt that disappointment. From my perspective on the weekend, I felt so sad that these people could not see how brave they were to tackle the day and all the unexpected challenges that came their way. They could not see their race as a success to have confronted such challenges and persevered. I think my own perspective on racing will be altered.

So, on that note, I have a plan! I am registered for Ironman Wisconsin, where my own start canon will blast in two weeks time. Andrew is fit and ready to rock this race. I'm not, but I have a plan. I plan to participate. I will put on the athlete wrist band. I will swim my heart out. I will ride my road bike upright, as it's more comfortable on the knee. I will walk the whole darn marathon. And I will finish before the 17 hour cut-off. The bike and run courses are looped, so I'll bow out and take off my race number if need be. Otherwise, I will just take it all in, and enjoy an awesome day of participating in a phenomenal event surrounded by people demonstrating guts and determination. Sound like fun?! Let's hope so.

Here are some photos of things that make me happy...kids being pirates...girlfriends...deer that eat my garden...sweating on a trainer...even for 30 minutes...family swims.